A Letter to Kumar's friend, Tanga

Dear Toby,

There’s an old saw: things work out for the best. I am not sure. The only thing that I’ll say with certainty is that things work out one way or another. A friend of Kumar’s decided to leave college one semester before completing his degree. It broke my heart and stirred up an old memory, and stirred a few hot coals under an old regret.

At almost 80 years old I don’t have too many regrets in my life, but there is one thing that I wish I could do over.

I went to the Harvard Graduate School of Design. I got in, I did the work. There were parts I loved, parts I struggled with, but for the most part I loved it. I was no good in the engineering structural part. But in my last year I decided that I wanted to do theology. I was convinced that it was the best decision for me. I dropped out of Graduate School Design. I finished the exams for the second to last semester. I told myself that I would return and finish the degree if I needed it. One thing led to another. I never went back, and I never got my M.Arch. All I could say on my resume was “Studied at the Harvard Graduate School Design.”

I did study theology and learned a lot, but after 11 years I quit the Church. I was about 36 and needed a job. I sent my resume around. I got interviews. The recruiter would look at the resume and say, “Oh GSD, great. When did you graduate?” I had to be honest. They could check the record. They all said, “Humm, thank you for coming in,” and I never got a job. I had to start my own business. I was always frustrated that I never had enough money to build a great business. I have always wondered what might have happened if I’d actually finished the degree. Just having that stupid piece of paper might have made a huge difference in my life, career opportunities, the amount of money I earned, the places I lived.

It might not have made a difference at all, but I always think it was a really stupid decision for me to have skipped those last 4-5 months and had to write on my resume, “Studied at the Harvard GSD.”

You’re a wonderful young man. I am sharing this because I think I should. Do with it what you want.

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