“Never Blend In!”

November 26th, 2008

On the marquee of the Castro Theater where the movie Milk opened was the image of a political button: “Never Blend In.” I don’t remember if I ever heard Harvey say those words, but I do know that he embodied this unashamed openness about our gay lives.

One of the reasons why many gay men didn’t much like him was that they truly believed that “blending in” was the only strategy that would allow them to lead the kind of lives they wanted for themselves. Professionally that was a perfectly valid choice, and one that I could have made, but one that didn’t seem like the right step. It seemed to validate the closeted rule of staying invisible. I could blend in. After many years of practice it seemed like second nature. And in a way I valued it. I could avoid a lot of the distasteful and dangerous situations that many effeminate men faced every day.

I remember Orvis Bryant, whose business was designing showrooms and stores for the furniture business. He tried to straddle both worlds, and was fairly successful though never as successful as he wanted to be.

Today is a good day to remind ourselves of what Harvey taught with his life: Never give in. Never think that you have to be other than you are! Keep up the fight. The only thing you have to lose is your humanity.


*For a very thorough treatment of “blending in” and how it affects our rights as gay men and lesbians, I recommend, Covering: The Hidden Assault on Our Civil Rights by Kenji Yoshino.

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